The father rules over the home just as the elders rule over the Church. The elders are not to lord it over the church and the father is not to lord it over his wife and children. Headship is a role of a servant. Consider Christ and His headship. He gave his life for the Church, his wife. This kind of father is easy to submit to. "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you" Hebrews 13: 17 This Scripture is speaking of local elders in local churches, but it applies equally to fathers in homes. Obedience is very important to God, and what is important to God is important.

There is a theme of submission in the Scripture. We are to submit to the will of God, and we are all supposed to submit to each other. It seems that the woman is to lead the way in this area while the man is to lead the way in loving and giving himself for his wife and family. "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fi ne apparel-- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" 1 Peter 3:1-4 The wife is to be the example to the entire Church, and to the world, of what submission is, and a man is to be the example of love and self-sacrifice.

The husband is to be gentle with his wife. He is to treat her as a fragile and delicate and valued gift. "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel (more delicate and precious), and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered" 1 Peter: 3:7 We all need to discern and see the Body of Christ. We see all the gifts, ministries, offices, and orders of the Church. We also can discern and recognize the false. When we see Him as He is, we become like Him. He is a many-membered Body on Earth walking in submission the the Head in Heaven.

"For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things (righteousness, peace and joy) is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify (build up) another" Romans 14: 17 - 19 The home is to be a place of righteousness, peace, Joy, and edification, and the husband/father has the first responsibility to make sure that it is a place of righteousness, peace, Joy, and edification. The wife/mother has a responsibility to help the husband/father in this effort. The children have the responsibility to help their parents in this effort.

Here is another Scripture that is written to local Church elders but that applies to husbands as well. "To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder (Paul was an elder to the universal invisible Church), a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock (This literally means to care for the flock of God as a shepherd cares for sheep--sheep need a lot of care) that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. Young men, in the same way, be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves in humility towards one another, because, 'God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time" 1 Peter 5:1-6 "Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, According as his divine power hath given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given to us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." 2 Peter 1:2-4